You can customize the look of the prompts in the chat buffer. There are separate settings for local (i.e. your own messages) and foreign prompts.
jabber-chat-prompt-local and jabber-chat-prompt-foreign
determine the faces used for the prompts.
jabber-chat-local-prompt-format and
jabber-chat-foreign-prompt-format determine what text is
displayed in the prompts. They are format strings, with the following
special sequences defined:
%t%n%jjabber-chat-time-format defines how %t shows time. Its
format is identical to that passed to format-time-string.
See Time Conversion (GNU Emacs Lisp Reference Manual).
You can also customize the header line of chat buffers, by modifying
the variable jabber-chat-header-line-format. The format of
that variable is the same as that of mode-line-format and
header-line-format. See Mode-Line Format (GNU Emacs Lisp Reference Manual).